Written by Michele Zandman - Frankel,
Coach and Founder of RevolutioniZe Nutrition
Ok. We have a lot to unpack here .
Our brains are pretty silly.
It's wild how we can wake up one day feeling great, in a good mood, motivated, confident, and then in a moment, our entire mentality can shift. You may suddenly feel that imposter syndrome sinking in, a lack confidence, experiencing a decrease in motivation, not feeling worthy or capable of succeeding in whatever your goals are, or feeling defeated when comparing yourself to someone else. Our brains throw us for a roller coaster of emotions, and mind games.
But I have a secret to tell you…. It happens to EVERYONE in some form and to some degree.
Social Media:
A highlight reel. A place of perfect lighting, posing, and filters. You look at someones picture with their perfect body, their perfect family, their perfect business, their perfect education and degree, their perfect house, their perfect job. It is easy to fall in the trap of comparing yourself to others, or your false impression of others. Truth is, everyone has battles they aren’t willing to share. They can put on a great facade for the public, but I always found the most genuine accounts to follow were the ones who were successful but shared all of their battles behind the scenes. THAT inspires me. It allows me to believe that my accomplishments are possible, but there will be a shit ton of obstacles to overcome, and that is NORMAL. I will have moments I am completely burned out and feel defeated, and again, that is NORMAL.
It is also important not to compare your first base to someone else’s third base. Again, when we lay out all the facts, someone else may be further into their journey than you are. It is important tor remember, that other person had a “day one” just like you did. Recognize the persistence and patience you must have to accomplish that next level. I always say, “Be proud of where you are now, and look forward to what is to come.” In other words, allow yourself to be present in the moment, and appreciate where you are. But also know, this isn’t where your journey ends and there is so much more to come to level up, and level up again, and then again. It is all part of the process of growth. And growth…growth can be painful. #growingpains
Understand that success isn’t linear. At all. No matter what part of your life you apply this lesson to, whether it be weight loss, muscle gain, education and earning a degree, opening and growing a business, finding your life partner and starting a family and raising kids, your job title, your success is NOT linear. There will be big risks involved….but you are gambling on yourself. You are in control of your decisions. Make your decision, and follow through to the best of your ability.
Motivation: You will NOT feel motivated every day. Even if you are immensely passionate about the project or goal, some days you rather sit on the couch and space out or binge watch Netflix. Hey….it happens to the best of us. Seriously. The most successful people out there, have those days to some extent. Motivation doesn’t last. Discipline is what will lead us to our ultimate goal. Some days you can push through your sluggish demeanor, and other days you may have to take a step back, give yourself a time out, and recoup to come back stronger the next day. Having a good sense of self awareness and understanding will help you on these days. Positive self talk is a key component to this.
Mental Health:
We wake up one morning, and feel on top of the world. Followed by 2 days of feeling like absolute trash. You aren’t alone in that feeling. We all experience this in some form, and to some degree. How we react and cope with these feelings will make all the difference. Understand that it is OKAY TO NOT FEEL OKAY. Seriously. It’s OKAY. It sucks to feel that way, don’t get me wrong. But again….it’s normal on a certain scale.
We are human beings having human experiences.
It is OK TO REACH OUT FOR HELP. Taking care of our mental health, a once very taboo topic, is FINALLY being spoken about, and more and more help is being offered! Your mental health is worthy of attention, healing, and support! Your feelings are valid. Just like you would mend a broken bone or a sprained ankle, the same goes for your mind, your emotions, and your thoughts.
The little things DO matter. Create small attainable goals for yourself. Achieve those goals, thus building confidence in yourself. And then smash your next goal.
Create lists for yourself, and knock off your tasks one at a time, again building confidence, as well as a sense of accomplishment and self worth.
If you feel overwhelmed, take a step back. If you feel intrusive thoughts and self sabotage is about to take over, take a step back. The more self away you are, the better. Analyze your triggers, patterns and behaviors. Set yourself up with a list of instructions to follow when you feel yourself falling in to an old unhealthy pattern or self sabotaging behavior. Don’t be afraid to remove yourself from a toxic environment and shift your attention and focus to something else other than your negative and most oftentimes FALSE thoughts.
You get back what you give. Help someone else who may be struggling, and perhaps it will inspire you along the way. This is something that has helped me for years. The more I can help another, the more I feel inspired by it all, and it makes me feel GOOD. If I am ever feeling down, I will go out of my way to do something for someone else, and it has in fact helped shift my mood.
Success & Environment
I have always been told to stay within the lines, stay in the box, “don’t risk it”, “be safe”. Others have tried to keep me confined due to the limitations they had set for me. They were projecting on to me their own fear of failure, their fear of hard work, and their fear of risk.
I have always been a risk taker when it came to implementing a vision I was passionate about. I believed in myself, when no one else did. I am a very self inspired individual. I think far outside of the box from other people around me. However, this does not come easily to many. Or it does come easily , but they fear being criticized or judged for their vision or for being different. I am a firm believer that you MUST surround yourself with an environment that governs success. If your environment is poisoning you, whether it be someone else, or your own intrusive thoughts, you MUST make a change. Change will bring about discomfort, but the discomfort is worth every ounce if it leads you to a life fulfilled.
BLINDERS ON. You must have tunnel vision when it comes to your mission. There will be doubters, naysayers, unsupportive people, backhanded compliments, uninvited suggestions and opinions that don’t align with your vision along the way. Stay committed to your plan and remain your path!
Our Brain Struggles:
Imposter syndrome. Am I worthy of success? Am I capable of achieving this? I can never be on their level. It’s too hard to do that. They lucked out. Why is it easy for them and not for me?
Our brains …. Are jerks. However the more we can practice controlling our thoughts, the more we can control our actions.
Sometimes it feels easier to cave in to our negative thoughts. There, we don’t have to face the amount of tedious work we have to put in, and we won’t encounter the opportunity to fail. Not getting started, or “giving up” is safe. It’s comfortable. As human beings, we like comfort. But we are also aware that the steps that lead us to success in any aspect of our lives, are NOT comfortable or easy. Those steps are steep, some steps are missing, sometimes we trip going up the stairs and fall down a few flights. To think success is easy, is one of the biggest fallacies. There is NO instant gratification when it comes to success. NONE. However, we CAN set small, attainable goals for ourselves, and START THERE. Persistence, consistency, and patience is everything. We must acknowledge the risk we are taking, and the obstacles that we WILL inevitably endure, and create a pre-game plan on how to tackle those obstacles - mentally, emotionally and physically . Again, self awareness is a tool that we can sharpen, and utilize in these moments. That good ol’ self awareness. Master this, and I believe it will help you a great deal on your journey to success.
If this is something you have difficulty doing on your own, SEEK HELP. I have done it when the load I was carrying was unbearable. It made all the difference for me, and it helped me find my freedom, my safety, and to make the changes in my life that were necessary to be healthy, happy and successful. I hope seeking help, changing your environment, following your passions, and finding a supportive community will do the same for you. It is literally life changing, and life saving.
Wrap it up!
Remember, life is too short to be confined by the limitations other people have for you. Sometimes the “other people” is your own self doubt.
Believe in yourself, and know you are worthy of success.
You are worthy of happiness.
You are worthy of health.
You are worthy of pleasure.
Follow your passion.
Put in the hard work.
Know when to take a day off.
Know its okay to not feel okay.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Stay in your lane. Tunnel vision.
Practice self awareness and sharpen that tool.
Study, analyze, and understand your triggers, patterns, and self destructive behaviors.
Remember you aren’t alone. Seek help if necessary!
And don’t forget to support and inspire others to do the same, and have each others backs.
We need more of that in this world.
Michele Zandman-Frankel